Do you relate?

What does it mean to relate?  We sometimes hear people say that they just cannot relate, usual in response to some generationally distinct action or frame of mind.  The older generation cannot relate to the younger generation. 
That is one discussion, that could bear some valuable fruit. But maybe another time.
What I have in mind is something different.  I am thinking on terms of the Christian in relation to the culture around him.  How do we relate to them or do we not relate at all?
Again, what does it mean to relate? If we consider the word etymologically, we can see it in terms of genetics.  We are genetically related to our progeny and our predecessors.  This means, in short,  that we have common DNA with them.
Or if we think of the word "relationship", we have a relationship with someone if we are involved in their life,  in any of a variety of ways.  Our doctor, our mailman,  our boss or co-workers,  our spouse or our children.  We have differing relationships with each of these, but they are all relationships.
So what then does it mean to relate or not with someone? We can tie all of these definitions together in order to draw a possible answer.  To relate then would be to have something in common with another which could lead to regular interaction, of some degree.
So what then does it mean to not relate? It would be the absence of these things.  The interesting thing, at least to me, is the lack of ethics in this regard.  There is nothing right or wrong about relating or not relating to someone.  The ethical aspect of this would come into consideration when the topic of what that relationship was built upon.
My conclusion then is that someone who is different than others around him simply because his interests or areas of knowledge are different than others is not in a place of fault or error. He simply doesn't relate.
This could be a point of sorrow for him or it could be irrelevant.  Either way,  he is different because of choices he has made in developing his world and because of who he is genetically,  formed by DNA and by upbringing.
The next interesting aspect of this is what happens when one's faith puts him at odds with his culture.  Question, should our faith make us radically different than the noon believers around us? Should not our faith control and direct every aspect of our lives? And as a culture moves further away from the Christian faith, should not the Christian relate less and less?

Self and other

I would think that one of the hardest things for anyone is to see past their own thinking processes.  When we interact with other people, we are thinking our thoughts, in our context, with our history and our genetics.  A very simple, but terribly shallow analogy would be the one of the man looking through tinted glasses. When he looks at something, it appears as the color of tinting.  Personally, I am not sure that it is possible to see otherwise, even if we understand the other person, his background, thought processes and outlook.  Question: is it possible to see past/think around one’s “glasses”?

So what is to be done?  How do we successfully interact with others, especially those under our authority?  How do we truly understand another?

This is really about being objective.  To be objective is to think, believe, and act upon something based upon a standard outside of one’s feelings.  The big question is, what is that standard and how hard are we willing to work to base our thoughts, belief and actions upon it?  Are we willing to do the really, really hard work of disregarding our feelings, passions, and/or desires, in order to live by a standard seemingly and oftentimes contrary to ourselves? 

An even more difficult question is, can we even become objective, because, from the start of that transition process, we are working from within our context.  I think that I believe that recognizing one’s context is the place to start.  To be able to step outside of your own thinking and critique your thinking and recognize that this is taking place with the two objects of “your” thinking and “other”, (while still using your thinking) can allow for success.  One very hard aspect of this is being willing to honestly assess/critique oneself.

The Long Term

While I am not suggesting any specific conclusion to this forthcoming thought, the concept should be thought through and appropriately applied.  The thought is this.  It occurred to me that nowhere in Scripture and nowhere in the writings of the church fathers are the practices of vacation and retirement found.  This whole idea of living a life of ease and comfort, as one grows old, is completely foreign to the Christian worldview.
How does one think of this?  The fact that vacation and retirement are constructs of the modern American mind ought to really make us pause and consider how right or wrong it may be.  Ask yourself how you ought to think of this and apply this to yourself.

Limited Time

I just had a handful of thoughts come together and connect, as I sat drinking my morning coffee.  First, we are all limited in our time.  At best, we will have 100 years of life. One third of that will be spent sleeping, so we are immediately cut down to 66 years of conscious living.  Another 1/3 to 1/4 will be spent earning a living, and, in many cases, doing a job that we really do not find that interesting or fulfilling.  Then there are the "must-do's" in life, things like: eating, bathrooms necessities, driving/commuting, waiting for various appointments.
This comes down to probably only a few hours a day when we have the choice to make as to how to use the time.  In our day and age, in our culture, the mentality seems to be entertainment and comfort.  We will use our time doing something that we find entertaining, relaxing, exciting.  Pretty much we turn it into "me" time.  Is this right?  From all that we know about Scripture and the teaching of the church?
But I want to strongly emphasize, this is a matter of personal responsibility.  This must not turn into a Pharisaical exercise.  These are questions that we must ask ourselves and answer to ourselves, for ultimately, we will stand before God and give account for what we did with what we had (what he has given us).
You have to wonder. Are we living our lives in the very best way we can (ie loving God and loving neighbor)?  Or are we justifying our various actions and activities so that we can be comfortable?

Existence

What’s the point?  To be more exact, what is the point of my existence?  I probably cannot say that there is “a” point, as in a singular reason for my existence.  And even if there is, I could probably not comprehend or articulate it.  I do have responsibilities on my plate, some chosen, others ontological.  Simply being a human being, made in the image of God, gives me responsibilities.  I am responsible to love God and love neighbor.  Being married with children, I am responsible to lead and provide for my family.  Being an employee, I am responsible to fulfill my duties as a costing analyst, to the best of my abilities. This list can be expanded, i.e., a son, a brother, a neighbor, etc.

So the underlying question is this, what do our chosen responsibilities reveal about what we believe to be important?  And what do we do when that mentality changes after we have made those choices?  What amount of effort or price do we pay to get out of those responsibilities, if we come to a place where priorities have shifted?  Our position in life as laypeople (as opposed to monastic), automatically sets us up for certain responsibilities/freedoms/structure.  It seems that the American culture is having a direct (and often unnoticed/unspoken) affect upon these.
In short, we must avoid allowing alien beliefs and practices to control who we are and what we do.  Our faith is nothing if it does not directly affect every area of our lives.

About the self

I often talk about and think and critique the non Christian worldview and the terrible lack of recognition of what it even means to live like a Christian.  But, as of late, I am fearing that the problem goes much further than I realize.  Its fairly easy to draw a line in the sand and say one side is of those who are part of the church and the other side is those who are not.  And practically speaking, this is correct.  But there are so many nuances to this that a simple black and white is really not practical.
I am beginning to realize just how influenced we are by the modern mentality and how far we are from the historic faith.  Most of this is centered on the concept and importance of self.  Stepping back and looking at our lives objectively, we should come to the realization that most of what we do is centered on making ourselves comfortable and safe.  But is this right?
Is it right to expend the high majority of our time, energy and money on ourselves?  When we read through the lives of the saints, over the past 2000 years, this is not what we see.  We see people giving away everything they own, to take care of the needs of others.  There is so much need and yet we focus on our own comfort and physical well being.  Where does faith fit into this?
When we read through the Scriptures, we see, over and over, that if we do not do to the least of these, we do not do it unto God. In other words, we express our love and faith for God by loving our neighbor.  Nowhere do we read about the importance of building a comfortable home and a fat retirement cushion.
Honestly, I am so influenced by and immersed in 21st century American culture that I do not even know where to begin or if my thoughts are even realistic or accurate.
But I have to ask the questions.

Two Paths

What to do? There are two paths.  The path of self-service and the Christian path.  One can either follow Jesus Christ or be one’s own god.

But within the Christian path there are two lines, the monastic and the lay.  Obviously, I am not a monastic, but the question of how to apply monastic advice/guidance to the lay life is glaring.  Because I am a layman, I am responsible to care for my family. But at what cost?  Do I really need to immerse myself in earning enough money? Who defines “enough”?  What comfort level is acceptable/appropriate? 

There are questions to answer and decisions to be made that may be irreversible (bridges burned, if you will).  How realistic (Orthodox) is idealism?  Does one pursue the “right thing” even when no one else seems to be doing so?  How does the fact that we, as human, are painfully limited in our knowledge and understanding of reality affect the huge decisions that must be made?  It seems that most follow the “sensible” path (i.e., easy/American).  When one steps back and looks at it all, it seems most likely that one will make the wrong choice.  If there are ten possible good paths to take, but 1000 wrong ones, the odds are against us.  Especially when “the world, the flesh and the devil” are against us, pushing us toward the wrong paths.

Even more so, by what criteria are we to judge the fruit of our actions?  The other thing is to determine if we are even setting good/right/Christian goals.  It’s easy to throw around platitudes and truisms in response, but these are really not that helpful, as they give no specific direction.

The most beautiful day and location mean nothing is someone is punching you in the stomach.

What happens when, looking back, you have formed your psyche and personality, to not fit in or “click” with others?  Built on idealism.