Rejecting Grief

 

            If you have something or someone in your life that is actively moving you away from beauty, away from holiness, and away from personal sacrifice, why would you continue to wallow in grief at their departure? Because we as humans are very limited in our perspective, in our understanding, and in wisdom, we cannot see the long-term goal that God has in place for us. Sometimes things or people will depart, which over a long period of time will prove to be to our benefit.

               Like the athlete who only sees the pain, the discomfort and the struggle of overcoming weight loss, overcoming weakness, and feeling frustration at not making fast enough progress, we need to remember that what is happening at the moment is for our good, for our benefit, and is moving toward a better goal than we can have ever imagined.

               If we can learn to step outside of ourselves, and look at the details from a different perspective, it is wise to gain wisdom and understanding from others who have more experience, more knowledge, and greater wisdom that we do. We need to learn to not see only what we desire and learn to see the change in path, in direction, and the new goal which will make us a better and stronger person.

               This is a matter of humility and acknowledging what we lack. Be very careful from whom you take and follow advice, there are many people who consider themselves wise and experienced, if these people are not helping you move toward goodness, kindness, love, holiness, and concern for others, then you need to step away from them, and find someone who is genuinely wise and experienced.

               Prepare yourself to reject the grief that follows from the loss of someone who you believed to be helping you. To continue to wallow in grief over the loss of someone who has been dragging you down, corrupting you, and feeding your weakness is a foolish position to take. Instead embrace the joy of moving on to something bigger and better, knowing that God is bringing about what is for your benefit.

Intentional Deception

 

            There are at least two versions of ourselves, one of these we put on display for others to see, the other one we keep hidden within ourselves because we are often ashamed of that second version. Most people want others to think well of them, want others to think that everything is going well, and that we are stable, loving, kind, and considerate, rather than self-centered and selfish. With this in mind, we present the best version of ourselves to keep everyone thinking that we have everything together and our lives are in good shape.

               We encounter many different types of people as we move through different social circles, different places of work, and our interaction with our relatives. Thankfully, we often keep our hidden desires from expressing themselves in reality, we do this in order not to get arrested for reacting to how some people treat us. To put it in the simplest of terms, we intentionally deceive others so they think well of us, think highly of us, and do not think poorly of us because of our honest response to unkind words or unkind actions toward us.

               This is where the importance of prayer is vital for our wellbeing. When criminal or abusive ideas drop into our minds, we need to immediately drive away this corruption away from us as quickly as possible. We do this by calling out to God through the intercession of Jesus Christ on our behalf, through the prayers of our guardian angels, and the prayers of others. It is a dangerous thing to dwell on corruption, to dwell on cruelty, or to allow wickedness to seep into us, all of which draws us away from beauty, from light, from love, and from kindness to others.

               Instead of thoughts of hostility, instead of unkind or cruel actions against those who intentionally oppress us, the best response is prayer for this person that they would move away from a life of corruption, away from a life of blind selfishness, and away from perversion and idolatry. Our prayers, our words, and our actions are all tools for positively influencing those around us.

               Do not allow the thoughts, the ideas, and the suggestions of cruelty from the evil ones that surround us move us to impose ugliness or sin toward others. Reject thoughts of evil and instead respond with love, with kindness, and with actions that move others toward that which is good, is right, is beautiful, and is kind.

Will It Be Seen as Beautiful?

 

            The most common response when someone reviews and critiques their own life, their life choices, and their interaction with others typically tends toward forgiveness of self and harsh words and attitude toward others. Historically, the Church has taught that we must be more critical of ourselves and not critical of others. We need to think of others as holier than ourselves, for we know our own weaknesses and we do not know what formed others into who they are today.

               It is a sad reality that others will speak well of us at our funeral, after we have already left behind those we love and possibly departing for eternity before we have completed what we desired to do before we pass into eternity. The Church has always taught us that God gives us every day to repent, to confess, and to strive after holiness and that we must not waste that time in pursuit of pleasure and passions.

               I strongly recommend that you spend a few minutes each day documenting what you have accomplished, how you have positively impacted others, and if you are genuinely on a path toward holiness. Over the last twenty centuries of Christian history, we have learned from holy men and holy women that we do not know how much time we have before we are taken into the presence of God.

               One day we will stand before the dread judgment seat of Christ and will need to answer for everything we did and did not do. Did you spend your time, your energy, and your money on promoting holiness, pursuing righteousness, and pursuing truth? After you have reposed, will others look back on your life and see beauty, see truth, see holiness, and see love? Do you see Jesus in every person that you meet?

               What will others say about you after you have moved into eternity? Were you a good person, did you pursue holiness, did you love and provide for others or were you self-centered, selfish, and a lover of pleasure? After you have begun documenting how you have spent your time, your energy, and your money, do you need to make a change in your life path? If so, start with that change immediately because you do not know if today is your last day.

The Parts That Are Ignored

 

                Most people spend their time distracting themselves from things uncomfortable, from things awkward, and from interacting with strangers. At the same time, we do not know what is taking place in someone’s mind, in someone’s heart, and in the secret lives of others. In many cases, people don’t want to be a burden on others and will wear a mask that shows happiness, contentment, and satisfaction with one’s current life situation.

               The cold, the sad, the miserable, and the shriveled soul desires to remain hidden and unknown to others. Frequently when someone comes into a room, they want to be the center of attention, the one that people enjoy interacting with, and the one who tells the good stories, and the funny jokes. Every person wants to be seen as the friendly, the loving, and the attractive one that draws everyone’s attention and preference for interaction.

               Are you the one to whom people go for encouragement, for energy, and for wisdom? If you are, do you have someone from whom you can gain these things when you are in need? Each person has only so much strength, so much wisdom and so much energy to share, eventually these things will deplete, will run out, and will leave you feeling empty when you give it all away to others. If you drain yourself, you will be miserable, you will be lonely and there is a good chance that when that happens, you will have nothing left to keep yourself going.

               When we meet someone, sometimes that person will communicate their miserable state by their words, the look in their eyes and their actions. Don’t be the only one giving, be the one who gives, encourages, and supports but also find someone from whom you can be strengthened and encouraged, so that you are not left empty and alone.

               In most cases, people need input, need love, need interaction, and have a passion for peace. There are a few people out there who are crushed by the oppression of social interaction, the drain of putting out too much, and find that solitude creates a setting for them to find peace, find happiness, and find joy, without having to consistently push back against others who only want to drain them so as to build themselves up.

               Do not feel guilty if you need quiet time, if you need solitude, and you need peace rather than pretending to enjoy social interaction and wearing a fake mask so that others think that everything is good with you. Don’t be the one who only puts out, who always depletes yourself so that others can be built up and encouraged. Find someone to help you so that you can be genuine with who you truly are.

               Honesty is always better because deception against yourself and against others does no one any good. Identify your weaknesses, find someone who can help you grow, who can help you overcome those things that are corrupting and polluting your life, so that you can grow, be strong, and become a better person.