Focus

 

            It is an important exercise in self-criticism, introspection, and review of how one spends their time, their money, and what captures their attention. There is nothing more important than loving God, loving your neighbor, and pursuing holiness. If you take a few months to review how you live, how you speak to others, and how you treat others, what will you uncover and learn about yourself?

               If everything in your life is about you, about being comfortable, about being entertained, and regularly going on vacation, then you are being foundationally selfish and are lacking the importance of caring for others, helping others, and improving your community and social circles.

               Choose a portion of time each day to document your life and be willing to be critical of yourself as you ponder how you live. After two or three months of this introspection, force yourself to be honest about how you live, how you spend your time and money, and if you are actually doing anything to make your community and society a better place.

               The concept here is focus, upon what are you focused, upon what do you spend your time and money, and are you helping others rather than being selfish and a lover of pleasure? I would encourage you to honestly assess yourself, and most likely re-focus yourself on being a good and loving person.

Forms of Death

 

I believe that most people would agree that death is unnatural and brings pain for those who have been left behind. Most people have attended a funeral, felt grief at the loss of a friend, and remain behind seeing only the empty space that your friend once filled. If those who remain behind after a loved one has departed into eternity, he or she may realize that this unfortunate cessation of life was the best possible end.

Death comes in many forms, when someone leaves this life to go into eternity, we can look at the quality of life in which they existed and we will come to realize that they were suffering, they felt empty, they existed only in despair and grief. To avoid being selfish, we can look at their life and know that they are now in a better place, are now content and safe, and are no longer suffering.

Physical death is the separation of a loved one from his friends and family. While emotional death or mental death bring a different type of separation. When someone’s mind begins to crumble and drifts into delusion without their understanding of what is happening to them, those around them feel sorry for the person as they are no longer who they formerly were.

Sometimes people will give up, will turn away and will take on a different form of life, leaving behind former loved ones, with only concern for their own selfish preferences. If something like this happens to you, it is wisest to allow this person to continue into their life of selfish pursuits. It will bring no satisfaction to you, to them, or to anyone else if you continue seeking to restore the relationship that was lost.

It Feels Dead

 

If someone is careful and thoughtful about each and every social interaction, relationship, or conversation, he will be able to determine the health of these by reading non-verbals, by catching subtle comments, and noticing how the other person speaks about others. This person should be able to identify if this relationship is alive, beneficial, or productive for them or for the other person.

By watching details, listening to comments, one should be able to accurately label the state of the relationship in front of them. One can apply a label to this relationship by thinking in terms of “does this person provide anything of value” or “this relationship feels dead” or “this person makes me a better person” or “I believe that if I continue in this relationship I can offer help, assistance, and benefit to the other.”

If one is careful and thoughtful about social interaction, he should be able to determine if continuing a relationship with this person is a benefit for himself or for the other. When you interact with someone, you should be able to know if they are willing to hear you, follow your advice, or put in the effort to become a better person. Sadly, we sometimes offer good advice and the recipient of this offer will directly and intentionally reject your comments and offer of help.

Think of social interaction as you would similar to diet, exercise, and sensory input. A wise person will be thoughtful about what they take into themselves, whether it be good food, quality entertainment, good company, or consistent exercise. Be thoughtful, be deliberate, and be consistent in what you take into yourself. Always aim for good quality, excellence, and people of good character.

Doing the Right Thing

 

In some situations, someone will do something unkind, cruel, or selfish to us. Our usual response is to respond in kind, we are inclined to respond with similar unkindness, anger, or violence. The opposite response will usually elicit a confused observation, which should reveal your true nature, if you want someone to be kind to you, then you need to be kind to them and to everyone else in your life.

Some people have great wealth, great comfort, and healthy connections with good people, all of these things can and should be used to make life better for us, for our families, for our loved ones, and for others who we may not know. How we use our time, how we use our money, and how we interact with others reveals the true nature of our hearts, our souls, and our minds.

If everything in your life is about you, is about your comfort, and about making life as easy as possible, then you are probably approaching life in the wrong way. Take a few moments, hours, days or weeks to consider how you live, how you speak, and how you spend your money. Sometimes we will find ourselves in a situation where we see someone merely existing and not having what is needed for a good and healthy life.

Find a notebook, create a list, identify how and where you spend your time and money, and consider what this says about you as a person. Do you buy things that you don’t really need, while there are others you know who are suffering and live a life from which they cannot escape? Set aside your own comforts, your own pleasures, and your empty distraction, doing so will allow you to help others who have genuine needs.

Defining and Articulating Success

 

Everyone knows a large number of people and it is uncommon to find a common definition of success among these people. As we form our thinking, our actions, and our plans for the future, we need to find good, wise, and excellent people to influence, direct us, and guide us as we do our best to move forward in life.

Don’t allow the emptiness, the vanity, and the shallowness of the culture around you to control and direct how you think, how you live, and how you define the words that will directly impact how you move in life. Learn how to put in effort, put in energy, how you spend your money and how you spend your time, all of these will directly impact the quality of your life.

Be aggressive and forthright in how you think, how you act, and how you define words. If you can succinctly define success and learn how to pursue that success for the rest of your life, your intentionality will allow you to achieve your desired goals. Take several hours, days, or weeks to think about how you define success, and when you have specifically articulated this definition, write it down, share it with others who are wise and successful, and then put in the effort to achieve your definition of success.

Success needs to be more than simply being wealthy, being comfortable, and being distracted by empty pleasure and entertainment. Learn to be content with having your basic needs met, learn how to provide for and support others, and learn to be generous to make your culture and your social circles good and strong.

Input and Output

 

            There are many different metaphors that can be used to communicate the outcome from what you put into yourself. Food is a very good example of this, if you eat fast food, highly processed foods, soda, high salt and high fat foods, you will not enjoy a body that is healthy, that is strong, or that will give you the energy you need to successfully reach your desired goals. Your diet should not be based on ease, on simplicity, or on whatever is the least expensive. Pursue and take into yourself that which will give you nutrition, strength, and all of the vitamins, fiber, oils, and quality that will make you healthy.

               If you find yourself spending most of your time being distracted by social media, by mindless and silly entertainment, it would be wise to make positive changes to your mental diet, which will give you the strength you need to achieve your goals. Instead of snacking, doom scrolling, or watching numberless videos online, go outside, enjoy the fresh air, walk for a few miles each day and spend time interacting with people of good character.

               A good pattern to develop for your use of time and energy can be found by documenting how you spend your time, how you spend your money, and with whom you interact. Be diligent in documenting what you do with your time, choose a notebook devoted solely to recording your activities and use of time. Be faithful in what you take into your body in terms of diet, what you take into your mind in terms of entertainment, and what you spend your free time thinking about.

               After documenting these things for at least a month, be strong and brave enough to share your findings with someone who is older, wiser, and more responsible than you, so as to receive input from them. Do not allow pride to control your path forward, instead be willing to make changes in your use of time, in whatever you take into yourself, and be willing to become better, stronger, and wiser than you are at this moment. Humility is one of the best attitudes to take on, it is when you realize that you need to become someone better and wiser than life will improve.

A Path Where Light Doesn't End

 

When someone reaches their teenage years, decisions need to be made and hopefully when one finds themself in this situation, they will seek input from others, knowing that the man who has only himself as a teacher will be bound to make mistakes. Every person moves out of one social circle and into another one, and will find himself in multiple social circles, interacting with many different types of people. Unfortunately, everyone we meet will not necessarily be honest about their response to you, their opinion of you, and will put themselves first rather than offer something of value to help you improve.

When someone is walking in the darkness, he may stumble, he may accidentally drive his toe into a piece of furniture, or he may step on something that remained obscure because of the darkness. There is very little worse than stepping on a Lego while wearing socks or being barefoot. The one who is wise will seek guidance from others, will pursue a path that is well lit, and that will lead to love, peace, joy, and glory.

It is a sad reality that some people will choose to engage in the use of substances that will negatively influence their ability to think clearly and make good choices. In very much the same way, some people will follow input and direction from others who lack wisdom, who lack experience and if one views the quality of their life, one can see that their decisions have only led to failure and confusion.

Find the path that will lead to love, peace, joy, and success. Unless you have immersed yourself in seeking knowledge, seeking wisdom, and seeking experience, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can figure it out on your own. There have been thousands and thousands of people all throughout history from whom we can learn, who we can imitate, and who create a great example for us to follow.

One does not look to others who have declined into a state of abject failure, poverty, and suffering. Find those who exhibit wise choices, live a good life, and pursue a lifestyle that is not focused on comfort and wealth. Love others like you love yourself.