Marriage and monasticism

For several years now, I have pondered on the relationship between, the differences between, and the value of, monasticism and marriage.  I have read a lot of monastic writings, the Philokalia, the Ladder of Divine Ascent, etc. I have heard homilies, lectures, talks and dialogues about monasticism and marriage.  Yet it was just a couple days ago, in a conversation with my priest, that I finally heard a really wonderful explanation. 
Marriage and monasticism are different in that marriage is the "normal" path but very few are called to monasticism.  Both use all the tools provided by the Church to grow in communion with God, but to varying degrees.
I began to wonder why married people would spend any time at a monastery.  And it was explained this way: the monastic path is for those very few called one's.  In some ways, it is a very difficult path, but has great rewards and can make one a great blessing to many. One would spend time at a monastery, not because there is something inherently special about monasticism but because monasticism gives us a glimpse into and a reminder of, what we should be doing in our very busy lives, that is, praying, fasting, attending the Divine Liturgy and cleansing our souls.  We are all called to draw close to God, not just the monks.

The presence of evil

I just watched "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" the other night.  It was an exceptional movie that took place in Nazi Germany.  In the movie, an SS soldier and his family were assigned to a home in the country to oversee and improve the performance of a nearby death camp.  The soldiers eight year old son discovered the camp, and not understanding what it was, developed a friendship with an eight year old Jewish boy inside the camp.  They became friends on either side of the barb wire.  The ending is absolutely devastating.
This movie generated some thoughts and questions.  It seems to me that in cases where men gain near absolute authority, they become evil.  And in cases where men acquire huge amounts of money, evil and perversion typically follow.
Consider the Nazi regime, Pol Pot, Stalin, Mao Zedong, etc.  In all of these cases, power brought terrible instances of abuse and destruction. And even on a lesser scale, we see abuses of power in our own government. I don't know where this leads, or what conclusions we can draw from these examples, but we must learn something. 
Maybe we should learn that the limits we have in our own lives, limited money and limited power, are to our advantage.  God is gracious to us, often in ways we don't understand.

Consider the context

It's been said to me that I look like an Orthodox monk.  But it's also been said by a co-worker that I must be a biker.  A checker at the local grocery store is convinced that I am Jewish.  Someone once asked me if I was Amish.  What is my point in these situations?  It has occurred to me that the labels placed upon you by others, based on your appearance, is not so much your responsibility but is instead a projection of others past historical context.  In other words, the things that have formed someone's thinking will control and direct how they see others.
What is our responsibility in this?  I'm not exactly sure, but no matter what, we need to be acting in love toward God and neighbor and we must be fixed on things eternal rather than temporal. 
We should consider why we dress and appear the way we do.

Sadness

"Hey baby, looking for a good time?"  I think we all have a pretty good idea of what is going on behind a statement like this and are (or at least should be) repulsed at such a thing.  But honestly, this statement, generally speaking, is the American culture in a nutshell.  This is what drives (in a worst case scenario) the multi billion dollar porn industry and also drives (in only a slightly better scenario) the latest wave of mega, seeker friendly churches.  The American dream is to be healthy, wealthy and distracted from anything uncomfortable or distressing. 
Unfortunately, this mentality is miles away from the heart/mind of the Church.  The Orthodox church is all about communion with God.  Our souls are darkened, sinful and self centered, but Jesus has given us, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the tools to purify ourselves and draw close to God.  The tools of prayer, fasting and the sacraments enables us to defeat the power of the devil, the flesh and the world, by the grace of God.
With this in mind, we need to acknowledge what our response should be on the face of so much wrong.  Our sinfulness, the fallen state of our culture and corruption so ingrained in so many people should evoke a serious sadness.  We ought to be grieved at so much wrong, within ourselves and in our culture.
Sadness is not a debilitating depression but a godly response to the control so many people allow death to have.  This kind of sadness should lead us to the throne of God, deep in prayer, realizing our sheer dependence upon him. 
God is love and life and anything contrary to Him only leads to suffering and death.  Too many people don't see this and continue down the path of selfishness.  This should make us sad.  The best response is prayer: for ourselves, for our neighbor and for the world.

Accomplishments

Whenever we accomplish something, the thought behind it is that in some way we believe it to be important.  Even if we have not deliberately thought it through, we believe that doing it is beneficial or necessary.
As we raise up our children, we train them, either consciously or unconsciously, that certain things are valuable.  When we praise or reward them for earning good grades, we are training them to believe that education is important.  When we cheer them on for the goal, the point, the run or the touchdown, we are training them that success in sports is important.  When we praise them for being pretty or handsome, we are training them to believe that external beauty is valuable.  So the question stands, do these things align with the beliefs of our faith? 
As we set goals and accomplishments for ourselves and our children, what is motivating these?  Are the things we are aiming to accomplish eternally worthwhile?  Are the things we are training into our children eternally valuable?  And more importantly, are there things we are neglecting or merely giving lip service, that actually are eternally valuable? 
What are the things that we claim to believe, that are part of the historic Christian faith, that we just don't have the time to do, because we are distracted and too busy to make them part of our lives?

Sacrifices

     The question is not so much, "What sacrifices are we willing to make for our faith", for I think that most people will be consistent with what they practically believe. The question will only honestly be answered in the moment when sacrifice is called for.  Any other time is mere theory and much too easy to falsify.
     The question is more about what we see as the value of our earthly life, the value of our passions, and the value of our comfort and ease. 
     The claim of belief and what is actually believed are different, often because one has been taught something false. What I mean is this:  if someone believes that they are X, simply because that is what they have always been told is true, does not mean that it is true.  There is deception involved in this, but not necessarily malicious deception.  And of course, there is responsibility on the part of the person believing. 
     My point in bringing these two seemingly random points together is this: belief always produces fruit and sometimes this fruit may not be what one expects.  The sacrifices that one will make will be based, often times unconsciously, on the beliefs one holds. 
     So what sacrifice are we willing to make?  The one that is consistent with what we practically believe. With that, we need to compare what we say we believe with what we actually live out, and then honestly ask ourselves of we are ok with any discrepancies we may find.

The wallet points to the heart

     I may be beleaguring the point, but it really seems that the things that we spend our time, money and energy upon are the the things that we find important.  I really don't know what else these expenditures can mean.  As I was reading a blog from the abbot of a monastery, he noted that it is very easy to point out the sins of others while ignoring our own.  But to do so accomplishes nothing and helps no one.  To do so only opens us up to demonic influence.
   So instead of looking upon others and judging them by our own standards, let us all critique ourselves and do so harshly.  For a two week period, document how you spend your time and money and see where it leads.