Modesty

This question has been plaguing me for a long time, possibly years, that is, how do we define modesty?  Not in the abstract, intellectual sense, but in the everyday, living it out sense. When we purchase clothing, when we get dressed in the morning, when we get dressed to "go out", what motivates our choices and what fences do we recognize that control our actions?

I am guessing that most people don't give this a whole lot of thought but instead merely go with the flow. It could be that the flow is okay (not likely) but shouldn't we at least have thought through the idea and be able to articulate why we do what we do?

So, what motivates/drives our fashion choices and who are we allowing to influence our ideas?  What does it even mean to be modest?  How is that word defined?  Where does the responsibility lie?  If the way we dress tempts someone else, should we do it that way?  Or is it simply "their problem".  If the way we dress tempts someone to sin, we should consider why we dress that particular way. What does the amount of time, money and energy we spend on our appearance and clothing say about our priorities?

I am going to make a few suggestions on possible ways to approach this. First, modesty is more than simply covering up certain portions of the body. Modesty has to do with excess as well. One can be perfectly covered up but immodest because of the extravagance of ones attire. 1st Peter 3 speaks of this. Second, modesty is in part defined by the culture in which we live. When we dress in a way that the culture around us has defined in a certain way (and it doesn't matter how accurate that definition is.  Perception has relevance), we are communicating a message. That message should be well thought out. Within the culture we live, our attire says something. We cannot argue that we are being modest according to first century standards, because we don't live in the first century. To dress in a way that WE say is okay when that manner of dress is offensive to some, is only selfishness. Again, this comes down to who gets to make the definitions. Do we listen to the world?  Do we listen to our own imagination? Do we listen to the church?

The way we dress should push no boundaries, should incite no passions in others and should draw no attention to ourselves. At the very least our attire out to communicate that our souls are more important than earthly concerns.

One closing thought. Ultimately, why does our appearance matter?  Other peoples thoughts about us are only important insofar as it appropriately reflects the image of Jesus Christ. Are we clean, well kempt, and discreet, not drawing attention to ourselves?  If we can answer "yes" to these, then we are probably safe. Much of this depends on the motivations behind our actions as shown in our appearance.