The subject of “being too hard”on your kids, in regards to religious practice, seems to come up quite often. There are many examples of this taking place, always with really bad results. A few notable names come to mind, such as Maynard Keenan (from the band Tool) and GG Allin (from the band, The Murder Junkies). Both of these men were raised in very strict religious homes and both men reacted strongly in rebellion against that religiosity that was foisted upon them.
I have to wonder what exactly is taking place. On the surface, the child is raised in a situation that stifles, controls and suppresses them, rather than challenging, maturing and loving them. Everyone has a different personality and to force religion, something that is supposed to fulfill, upon them, in a manner that drives them away is, in my opinion, about the worst action one can take.
So my question is this? What does it mean to be "too hard" on your kids? Scripture does speak of this when it says, "Fathers do not exasperate your children." (Ephesians 6:4). One of the biggest problems with this passage is the way that it is handled, according to personal interpretation. In the world of Protestantism/Evangelicalism, one can interpret Scripture in whatever way one seeks fit. I can guarantee that no father guilty of being too hard on his children even sees himself that way.
In order to keep this practical, we can say two things. One, never make the faith a matter of grief, animosity or disdain. Going to church or church related events should not be a pain point for kids. If it is, we are doing something wrong. This is not to say that church/religion should be fun and games. But it is our responsibility to make our faith real to our kids.
It really comes down to love. If we are loving God and loving neighbor
(ie, our kids), like we should a relationship of open communication should
be natural. Yes, children will rebel and want to define things for themselves.
But that is a progression that should take place. Our kids must embrace
faith for themselves and not simply mimic us. And this may mean a different
path to come into a faith for themselves.
(ie, our kids), like we should a relationship of open communication should
be natural. Yes, children will rebel and want to define things for themselves.
But that is a progression that should take place. Our kids must embrace
faith for themselves and not simply mimic us. And this may mean a different
path to come into a faith for themselves.